- a means of limiting or regulating something
- the power to influence or direct people’s behaviour or the course of events
The funny thing is that my struggle to let you go is part of the problem, isn’t it?
On Sundays when I lie in bed and think of the week ahead, I like to know that I’ve already sorted out what’s coming ahead. But sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we plan for it to.
Sometimes life is the maybe, the what if, the in the event that. Sometimes life is full to the brim with variables, and all we can do is let it be.
That drives me crazy. I like for things to go according to Plan A, to be set, to be certain. To complete the sentence with a full stop, not a question mark. Finality.
I lowkey think I wasn’t built for the variable, but I know that’s not the case, hard as it is to accept this truth.
So I’m breaking up with you. I’m letting you go because I know that if I do, I open myself up to a life of adventure.
I know that if I do, there is an endless world of surprises waiting for me. Some are good, some are bad, and that’s okay. Both these will make me better, if I learn from them. If I l view surprises as art, then I can appreciate the creativity of life.
I know that that a hand that is closed cannot receive.
I know that a mind that is bogged down with details and blueprints cannot expand.
It’s not me, it’s you.
This is farewell, and I’ve sealed it with a prayer and a mustard seed.
So then, goodbye, old friend.
And good riddance!
“For now he knew what Shalimar knew: if you surrendered to the air, you could ride it.” -Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon